2015

FREE Book Download till Cyber Monday! Ate Too Damn Much!

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In lieu of the day after eating so much your stomach swells to the point of obstructing your breathing (only to wake up early to go to the mall and shop), I’ve decided to “give back” and offer my book for FREE. No contracts, no strings attached, absolutely guilt-free!
So if you haven’t gotten a copy, or you want to give someone a copy, click on the amazon link below:
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First Con: Comikaze 2015!

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"Oh shit this is really happening goddamnit!"

“Oh shit this is really happening!”

So this happened last weekend—my very first table, my first ever “con” (is that how you say it?). Granted I’ve never been to a convention before and my very first one was tabling and promoting my book—in other words I really had no idea what to expect or what to do! Luckily I had angels to guide me and help me get out of my dungeon and be a social butterfly for at least three days.

Not gonna lie. Thinking it was a comic book convention (and not a novel convention—do we even have those?), I was really only expecting to sell maybe 2 or 3 books if I was lucky. But alas, to my surprise, I sold almost all my inventory.

Imagine that!

So thank you for all your support—both old and new—and I promise I won’t disappoint (if I do you can always firebomb my place, I don’t give a shit I got renter’s insurance). (more…)

Turning Super Saiyan # 1: Zero Hero

Power Level definitely NOT over 9000.

Today marks the end of my 16-week cut. I’ve tried “cutting” before but it is the first time I did so counting calories and tracking macros. Coming from a 9-month bulk (which was also my first time counting and tracking), I kinda went too fast, too soon and got a little too fluffy to be considered “hoe-ready.” As such the cut took longer than I’d like, and I couldn’t get as lean as I wanted without sacrificing strength, a dying metabolism, and all those hard-earned gainz. But alas the earth is in danger again of being destroyed by haters from another planet and the results are in!

I kept some of my gainsgot rid of most of the flab, and now I am ready once more to pack on some serious muscle mass—that is, some super saiyan muscle mass!

"I didn't choose the thug life, the thug life chose me."

“I didn’t choose the thug life, the thug life chose me.”

From the beginning I’ve always had  a hard life (please reference pic to the left).
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Born in the dark recesses of the third-world, in the foreign-exploited planet of Vegeta, people have always wanted to take advantage of my cuteness for their own malign and evil purposes. To counteract this depraved ploy—even if it meant violating the tenets of the warrior bloodline that runs in my veins—I ate a lot of meatballs to render myself (for a lack of a better, more precise word) “unfuckable.” (more…)

Cure in Chaos

Detective-Comics-Vol.-1-880-animated-comic-book-coverIn a deck of cards the Jester is the only card without a rank or suit. He does not kneel to the King of Diamonds, serve the Queen of Hearts, nor answer to the Jack of Clubs. And even though he cannot brandish the Ace of Spades, he is nevertheless included in the set without purpose or utility—he is only there to cause distraction and discord.

In creation myths, the Trickster is also an anomaly. Neither good nor evil, he is both carnal and divine at the same time. Loyal only to his pleasures, this mischievous entity is nonetheless capable of good deeds and celestial engineering through a state of chaos.

This brings us to the most famous and modern incarnation of this creature, that is the Batman’s Joker. The Joker is unlike other super villains in that he is a killer without a pattern. This is why the Joker is Batman’s arch-nemesis, because he cannot be defined and he goes after your friends and family, where it hurts, i.e. the balls. Madness and chaos are his state of only normalcy. And in a way, although most of us are not lethal sociopaths, writers also thrive in such an extreme state. (more…)

Roun’s Rants Vol.5: Bitching

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“Declaring intent is not execution.” —Mark Twight

The other day I found myself bitching again. I didn’t know I was doing it at the time, but I knew something was wrong. A girl that I was trying to seduce was not responding to my advances. Try as I may, the pimp juice just wasn’t working. But that is the canary in the coal mine, so to speak. The girl was trying to tell me something, but she was trying to be nice to spare my ego. Nevertheless her actions spoke loud and clear.

Why are you acting like a little bitch? (more…)

Limit Breaks

Death by monotony. Death by theories and statistical wisdom. I.e. death without a trace.

You feel it coming that’s why you search the internet, scour for articles, watch the videos. Maybe even pay to watch someone in a panel or on the podium, hoping that their words will somehow stain you a little longer, seep into your life a little better, into your abilities, activities.

A month-old into the new year and a lot of people are still “motivated.” But just as water and food, this mental and emotional diet, if not nourished, will deplete. And this is why people will always wonder why they are always starving, deprived and depressed.

Online clickbait “secrets” will often try to sell you on some sort of system, “a way of thinking,” that will change your life. But this is only true if you have accepted the true necessary equation of “the secret,” prioritizing a way of doing instead of the passive, a way of thinking.

Blood + Sweat + Time = Chance (more…)

Appetite For The Hustle

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So my friend told me the other day, “What if you don’t make it? What if you end up like all these people, working minimum wage because they’ve spent their lives working for nothing? You’ll end up old, broke, and nobody will hire you back.”

At this point I can write, “well that got me thinking,” but in fact it didn’t. In fact my response was so immediate because to me the question was so stupid.

“What makes you think I want to go back?” I said. “Besides, even if I don’t make it—”

Now let’s stop there for a moment. First of, I really hate it when people say that line: “Even if I don’t make it…” It is a statement of weakness disguised in moral eminence, as though money and fame didn’t really matter to you. It is a passive-aggressive claim of higher standards—a preemptive dulling of a theoretical pain—hiding the fact that you’ve accepted loss without actually losing. (more…)